Humble Pie

Working in student affairs, I should be used to the constantness of students coming and going from my life. I always thought I was good at dealing with that change, but the last couple weeks are an indication that perhaps I'm not as good at it as I thought.

What's bringing this about is an experience of having one of my favorite students make the decision to leave and move to another state. I did not react very positively to this news which bothered me. After all, this student/friend had been one of the most supportive of my decision to go back to school full-time. Why was I having such a hard time accepting this change?

After some time to reflect, I realized it was because it was so unexpected. We all know that the students we work with will leave, typically because they graduate. So when a student makes the decision to transfer, it can come as a surprise and disrupt the typical "flow" of time with our students. The important lesson I learned from this scenario, though, had more to do with me personally.

I projected my surprise and sadness onto the students' decision. I acted in a way that was not productive and supportive. I had to acknowledge that, in this case, I had put my needs ahead of those of the "other." And that had to change! Fortunately for me, this student/friend is a sympathetic soul and will forgive me. I am now 100% in this friend's corner and fully support his decision. How couldn't I when he sounds so excited and happy about this new phase of his life?

As leaders, we have to remember to not put the needs of others ahead of our own. As student affairs professionals, we have to believe we have helped students learn how to think critically and make the best possible decisions. And, when we forget this and are reminded of it by others, we have to be willing to eat a little humble pie.

In humbleness,
Brenda

Learning From Students

I am always fascinated by the things I learn from the students I work with. Take the economic lessons I have been getting from Brady. Bringing back memories of my economics classes in college. Amazing the things that do actually stick with you - proving that some of those classes you take are really worthwhile! He has really forced me to educate myself, be open to hearing alternative viewpoints, and be able to defend my positions on the economy and the state of K-12 education.

Then there are the random conversations that you never know where they will lead. This past week, I challenged the Emerging Leaders group to learn about their cultural heritage as part of our discussion about diversity. I mentioned that I was starting to explore my Scottish heritage. One of the students, Scot, came up to me after the session and shared what he had been learning about his family background. We had a follow-up conversation about this topic later in the week, which really has inspired me to want to do more research. It's important to learn where we come from and who shaped who we have become as individuals.

As educators, we need to be willing to be open to the fact that we can learn as much from our students as they do from us.

Continually learning from my students,
Brenda